Daring Greatly by Brené Brown is an insightful book on why people long for belongingness, love, and connection yet are always afraid of being not good enough and rejected. The contentions in this book are not just mere conjectures based on theories read in books.
Instead, they’re products of extensive 12-year research on human beings, vulnerabilities, and fulfilling connections. According to Dr. Brown, if people could embrace their vulnerabilities and change how they live and love, it would be easier to interact with others, love, and lead wholeheartedly. Only then can they create and experience fulfilling connections.
If you’re struggling to forge meaningful and fulfilling relationships with your loved ones, or if you’re about how to develop deeper connections with people around you, this book should be on your shelf. Check out a few of the highlights of ‘Daring Greatly‘ below. This is a short yet insightful Daring Greatly summary.
Daring Greatly Summary
Daring Greatly is about the concept of vulnerability. The author, Brené Brown, explains that vulnerability is not weakness but instead it is a sign of courage. She advocates for people to engage in authenticity which entails owning their emotions, living with uncertainty and pushing themselves outside their comfort zones.
She talks about what it means to be vulnerable in relationships and how important it is for individuals to understand this in order to experience positive connections with others.
Best ideas from Daring Greatly
Here we have summarized some of the best ideas from the book:
What is vulnerability, and how does it affect human relationships?
People continue to spend their lives living with the ‘scarcity’ mindset. For them, the general rule that applies to everything, especially themselves, is this – never enough. Because of this, people tend to compare themselves to others and even set high expectations.
These are the things that could sabotage your relationships. Since you view yourself as unworthy and ‘not enough,’ you also believe that people think about you that way. So, when they do something genuinely good to you, you can’t appreciate it wholeheartedly because you feel there’s an ulterior motive behind their actions.
Most people’s deepest insecurities stem from feeling not thin enough, not rich enough, not successful or loveable enough, or not intelligent enough. These thoughts are brought about by disengagement, comparison, and shame. Dr. Brown explains these myths as components of people’s scarcity mindset. According to Dr. Brown, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance, but being’enough.’ Learn more about these concepts in Dr. Brown’s book.
The pain of shame
Another concept that Dr. Brown discussed in her book is the pain of shame and how people could manage it. According to Dr. Brown, shame is the tormenting feeling people feel when they think they’re flawed. When people feel flawed, they feel unworthy of belonging to someone and feeling loved.
The truth is everyone feels shame, but not everyone is open to talking it out. And because you don’t talk about it, you give it more power. Learn more about how destructive the power you give to shame is in Dr. Brown’s book. After talking about shame in-depth, Dr. Brown also share meaningful insights on how you can overcome this feeling. If you embrace shame, crush it, talk it out, you liberate yourself from its destructive power.
Unmasking shame
Certain events in our lives make us feel that we’re unworthy. The truth is meanings are in people, not in things and events. Since you think that you’re not enough, you feel like these unfortunate events happened simply because you’re unworthy of happiness.
As a result, we manifest these negative feelings through our actions. For example, because you’re parents separated, you feel like it’s your fault. You keep on thinking that you’re unlovable and lacking. You tell yourself that if only you were more loving or kinder, you could prevent their break-up.
You see, you need to see yourself apart from these events because you didn’t cause it. Instead of being kind to people around you, you push them away by being mean and rude. You feel that you can justify your shame and guilt by doing this. Dr. Brown helps people unmask their feelings of shame and guilt in this book. Improve your relationships by not granting shame a chance to ruin you.
If you want to know how to improve your relationship with the people in your life, you must give Dr. Brown’s book a chance. Liberate yourself from the negative feelings that cause you to feel worn out. You deserve to be happy. You also deserve to forge deeper relationships with people.
Who should read vs. who shouldn’t read Daring Greatly?
This book should be read by people who struggle with shame, guilt, and doubts. These three negative emotions are so powerful that they could take away the joy in your life. If you continue to give them power over you, you’ll forever deprive yourself of the chance to be truly happy.
I don’t think there’s anyone who shouldn’t read this book. It’s an eye-opener to everyone who struggles with self-doubt, shame, and guilt. All the more, you need to read the book if you’re not ready to confront these harsh realities. It will force you to face your fears and doubts.
Review of Daring Greatly
I would give this book a 10 out of 10 rating for being unpretentious. It doesn’t sugarcoat and offers people exactly what they need to hear. I also like the fact that it doesn’t force the truth. Instead, it shows these truths in a logical and relatable manner, allowing the reader to realize these facts by themselves.
This is a must-read for everyone, especially those in pain due to resentments, self-doubts, and past hurts. However, readers must be ready to go back to their past. Dr. Brown forces you to dig deeper into your past to understand why you have a particular belief system about yourself.
Should I read the complete book?
The straightforward answer to this question is yes; you should read the complete book. The reviews may be telling, but you can benefit the most if you read the entire book. Through this, you can document your journey, apply the principles to your present realities, and track your progress.
Reading the whole book is akin to a healing process. You start by getting to know your authentic self, unmasking the hurts, pains, and troubles of the child inside you. After this, you get to go back to events that made you the way you are right now. Slowly, you make sense of these events as you embrace them. You also realize that these events, no matter how hurtful they are, happen because they need to – and not because you were unworthy.
In the end, you get to relearn how to love yourself and understand that you were already more than enough from the beginning.
